My new anthroposophical General Practitioner referred to the Bentinck massage practitioner. I was able to see her for the first time on July 8th. After the first massage I felt ‘heavy’, but more myself. I dreamt a lot in the days that followed. During the day I also gained some insight into things I wanted to do in this world. I regained hope and there came a time in which I began to understand myself ever better. I had been told to rest and in doing so I received more space for ideas. Unfortunately I did not yet have the strength to put them into practice. This only began halfway through August. Slowly my energy increased so that I was able to do things. So much so, that for a certain span of time I was even unable to come to peace any longer due to the positive life forces. I was able to deal with my sorrow and had energy again to continue living. So many processes were awoken in me. I might even be reliving my puberty, which was a time of my life I never properly experienced. Before the massage therapy I never had any regular periods, but now I have already had a normal period every month for the past three months (July, August, September), even without any PMS (Pre-menstrual Stress) symptoms.
I feel more independent and less burdened by life. I also feel young again and can cope with more stimuli. At last I am able to be who I want to be. I do take care of myself and am better able to sense when I need to have rest periods. I then have to actually rest in order to come to myself again. I can now also have intense feelings when making music, which had not been possible all that time. At the end of the massage sessions I had nightmares twice. I was caught in the grip of something dark. In the second nightmare I said ‘No’ very loudly and then felt liberated. I am experiencing less stress, and trust that all will be well with what I am doing in life. Over the past weeks I have felt strongly that my calling, my work, lies in music!
Liesbeth, 23 years old (2019)